Giro d'Italia comes to Dublin

Report to follow...

I made it to the Irish Times. Check it out. Watch for the Pink Wig at 28 seconds in!

The Paddy Tour of East Cork (with guest appearance by Cha & Miah)

Ah, today was just lovely! Spring weather after early rain as we left Dungarvan for a long one. Group of 9 to Lismore and on to Tallow. On the way up to Dungourney we met some local cyclists who tempted us to stretch our legs..so we raced down to the village and then back to our usual leisurely pace to Castlemartyr. After a brief coffee stop in Killeagh we pushed on again with a great tailwind. We thought that the hill from Piltown might cause a problem, but no...and after Kiely's Cross we pushed on hard again. 

Just terrific. Roast lamb immediately afterwards with mam and my sister rounded off a great morning! I'm thinking also that I might head over to the Lady Belle later this evening for interesting dissection of the finer points. Might even have a pint...

Here's the GPS link... http://ridewithgps.com/trips/1255094 Rest now for a few days before we head to Waterford during the week for the Cycle Against Suicide, an awareness-raising event.

Dungarvan, Tallow, Dungourney, Castlemartyr, Killeagh, Youghal, Dungarvan, followed by roast leg of lamb.

The post title is courtesy of our cycling buddy Tom.

The Big Clean Up

Mild damp day, and after watching some TV on iPad on  a morning lie-in, I set to work just before midday.

Job 1: Back shed. Dumped loads, and cleaned & tidied. Made a big difference.

Job 2: Hang bikes on wall in garage. This took a bit longer. Could not find the chuck for the drill. However, RM (renting Madge's house) loaned me a cordless drill. POS arrived just to say a quick hello mid-job. Lovely chat about mostly my new mountain bike. Then, at about 5pm job done. Turf briquettes moved to other side; three bikes fitted on wall; several half-shelves replacing existing ones; all my bike stuff moved to bike side; Marion will use shelves on other side; big sweep and hoover. (Well, not hoover actually...) Needs to be hoovered. Lots of photos taken, as it likely will not stay as tidy as it is now.

The Mountain is Waiting

Collected my new Lapierre mountain bike at Cyclesports today. Fantastic advice from Paddy. I had been to Ballyhoura yesterday with Kevin, Anthony X2 and Declan. Was so taken with the experience on a rented bike that I decided there and then to do the business!

Added extras: shoes, clip-in pedals, summer tyres, bike-bag & tube and camelbak water backpack.

Lapierre X-Cantral 210

I am reminded of Dr. Seuss: "Today is your day, your mountain is waiting, so get on your way."

Lapierre X-Control 210 2012 Mountain bike - Full Specifications
Frame X-CONTROL 210 Alloy SuperLite FPS2® 100mm
Rear Shock LAPIERRE R Hydraulic Damping Technology
Fork ROCKSHOX XC32 TK 120mm Black + Poploc
Headset Alloy PT-1805H 1-1/8 Black
Bottom Bracket Roulements de boitier intégrés SHIMANO BB7141A
Crankset SHIMANO FCM542 42x32x24 Black / 170mm : size 41 • 175mm : size 46/51/56
Stem LAPIERRE RAID Series 31.8x90mm 6° 2012 Black
Seatpost LAPIERRE RAID Series 31.6x350mm SB Black
Handlebars LAPIERRE RAID Series 31.8 30x680mm 2012
Front derailleur SHIMANO Deore FDM-591-10 L6 10 speeds
Rear derailleur SHIMANO SLX RDM663SGS 10 speeds
Brakes SRAM Elixir 1 White / DISCSRAM G2CS 160mm
Shifters SHIMANO Deore
Saddle LAPIERRE RAID Black/Grey
Wheel MACH1 Neo Disc 26" 32 holes
Sprocket SHIMANO Deore CS-HG62-10 11x36 10 Speeds
Tires HUTCHINSON Cougar TR 26x2.2
Weight 13.5 Kg

Looking For A Husband?

A brand new department store has just opened in London. It sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the following instructions:-

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you go up. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

One day a woman goes into the store and rather nervously starts climbing the stairs.

When she gets to the 1st floor a sign on the door reads:

Floor 1: These men have jobs.

She thinks, "I can do better than that" and keeps going up.

The 2nd floor sign reads:

Floor 2: These men have jobs and love kids.

But she goes up another floor.

The 3rd floor sign reads:

Floor 3: These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4: These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5: These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a Wives store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.

From: http://www.fun-with-english.co.uk/ (copyright)

An Artistic Prodigy

Downloaded and Uploaded. Copyright of Owner

Yes, food for thought there!

The Curious Incident Of The Leg Of Lamb

These things happen, even to good people. We had taken a leg of lamb from the freezer last night and left it on the kitchen countertop to defrost. However, as she left for horseriding early today, Meabh very kindly fed the cat inadvertently. Garage door open. Cat, being a clever creature, could not resist. Plastic packaging proved to be only a minor obstacle. Here's a transcript of some text conversations between Meabh & myself about an hour later:

Dad: We had a lovely leg of lamb ready for dinner. But now we don't. You need to eat humble pie when you see mam.

Meabh: Whooooops.. missed breakfast though so I night need the lamb too.

Dad: Mmm...

Meabh: I'm starved.

Kitten Says Thanks For Leg Of Irish Lamb

As I mentioned, these things do happen. Strange thing was that as I came upon the cat nibbling through good Irish lamb, both dogs were sitting looking up at it. Probably wondering why they've never been allowed up on the countertop to indulge. Story ends with dogs and cat delighted to be given the joint between them. Now the dogs will likely collude and encourage cat to repeat episode.

Computer Helpline Drama

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): 

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' 

Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' 

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' 

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' 

Operator: 'Went away?' 

Caller: 'They disappeared.' 

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?' 

Caller: 'Nothing.' 

Operator: 'Nothing??' 

Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' 

Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??' 

Caller: 'How do I tell?' 

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??' 

Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' 

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' 

Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' 

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' 

Caller: 'What's a monitor?' 

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??' 

Caller: 'I don't know.' 

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??' 

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' 

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. 

Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??' 

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' 

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' 

Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??' 

Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. 

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' 

Operator: 'A power...A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??' 

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' 

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' 

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

Cats Sleep Anywhere

I remember this from primary school. I am reminded of it as our Kit settles in to home in Park Lane. Favourite spots so far include: basket on my electric bike, saucepan in garage with old hat in it, the laundry basket and of course right in the middle of the dog's kitchen mat, having evicted them!

Cats sleep anywhere

Any table, any chair

Top of piano, window ledge

In the middle, on the edge

Open drawer, empty shoe

Anybody's lap will do

Fitted in a cardboard box

In the cupboard with your frocks

They don't care

Cats sleep anywhere!

The Beano: Critical Christmas Reading

Now that I've got my annual annual Christmas takes a more light-hearted twist. My friends Denis and others will brighten the darkest days with their fun and frolics.

In The Bath Creating My Doodle Thingy

This is interesting…

 

Created using iPhone app called WeeMee.

Last Of The Summer Wine

Yesterday was another magnificent cycling day! Kieran and Alberto had signed on for the 160k Cork Rebel Tour. Apart from getting lost going out of Cork City and not seeing any bikers, stewards or signs for about 90 minutes, and apart from the fact that it was a terribly badly-organised event, I still consider that it was a magnificent event to cycle. In all fairness, the food at Dunmanway was really good, the tailwind to Clonakilty brought on a fast pace, and the scenery at the Old Head of Kinsale was worth the cycle alone! We laid eyes on a tall slim young lady in green doing her mandatory stretches at Dunmanway, and tried to slow the pace to get her into our group. But, apart from glimpses at several spots later on the course, she was having none of it!
Kieran almost needed windscreen wipers on the inside coming home as the jokes and banter increased in intensity. What a finish!

This was our season finale, and we celebrated in the Lady Belle with Sarah and Olivia late into the early morning. Brilliant stuff! I had teased the lads about going to Lismore this morning, bit to no avail. I went just to loosen out the head, 33 easy easy miles. Again, here’s a loose transcript of texts to and fro:

P: Can I borrow your ankle bandage…I need it for my head?

K: No, it’s on my head.

P: Not a problem. I’ll put stabilisers on bike. Same thing!

Afterwards, I called in to Kieran’s for another breakfast, and then did the dog on it again in the afternoon as we shared several Budweiser with friends at home.

All in all, a WONDERFUL biking season. 85 spins, 4400 miles January to today. We will probably take it easy until Christmas, and have plans for bigger and better next year. Maybe slower, but better.